Thursday, 16 April 2020
5 comments:
To support my learning I ask you to comment as follows:
1. Something positive - something you like about what I have shared.
2. Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what I had to say
3. Something helpful - how have you connected with my learning? Give me some ideas for next time or ask me a question.
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Kia ora Connor,
ReplyDeleteWell done for using your ideas and re-organising them into this narrative structure. Your ideas will need to be clarified: make them clearer by adding more detail. For example, Who are 'they'? Are these bullies? Are these boys a group of boys that Bille wants to be friends with?
Another thing to think about is to describe Little Billy well in your introduction, explaining that he has magic. This will help your readers to understand the events in your story better.
:) Keep up the great work,
Miss D
Good morning Conner I really like the way u have describe your writing maybe next could u please make your words bigger from Jade
ReplyDeleteWhy Hello there Connor, I like the way you dueped the climax so then there is more bad stuff gonna happen to little jimmy oh wait i mean bily.
ReplyDeletecould you please modify the pics.
From a person you know named Eddie
Great work Connor could you make the words bigger.
ReplyDeleteHello Connor.
ReplyDeleteIt's great to see you sharing your work Connor.Thank you.
Just remember that people's names need capital letters.I know you know this as I have heard you mentioned it in class.
Have a great weekend and I will see you Monday-via the computer.